CONFUSED SIKH NEEDS HELP

[jessegill77]

Sat Sri Akaal,

I'm sorry if this is not the place to post this but I really need answers.

I came across your website when my mind is full of doubts and questions.I wish someone out there could enlighten me and help me on this difficult journey called life.

I was a modern sikh (short hair and clean shaven)for the last 20 years of my life,by the way I’m 44 this year,married with 2 boys aged 11 and 13.

I have been enjoying (so called by us ignorant souls) my life with booze and women and one day when my wife got sick and was not getting better, I got frightened that I might have passed on some disease to her.

With so much fear in me I rushed to the Gurdwara,did japji sahib & Chaupai sahib and ask for forgiveness from waheguru and promised that I will change my ways and pleaded with the almighty to cure my wife.

When my wife still didn't get better,I confessed everything to her and my kids.Never had there been so much sadness and crying in our home.

My wife forgave me and we went to the temple and ask the priest to do an ardass for me and ask waheguru for forgiveness and I promise to be a gursikh.We also ask the priest to start a Sahej Path for us.

I also got a friend of mine to have Sukhmani sahib in our home .Eventually my wife got better.

After that I have refrain from cutting my hair and shaving and have been getting up at amritvela and doing Japji sahib,chaupai sahib and anand sahib (still not well versed with Jaap and Sawayeh).I also do rehraas and kirtan sohaila.

This has been going on for the last 60 days.My problem is since the last 20 days or so I have so many thoughts that are bombarding my mind everyday.Let me share some of them with you;

(1)What will my associates/customers say and do when they see me like this with turban and long beard? I haven't been on my business trip since all these happened.

(2)I look funny and I feel awkward having a turban on.I still try keeping it off since my hair still hasn't grown that much.

(3)Why must Guruji makes us stand out like this.(different from the rest)

(4)I have to go for business in countries where there are so few sikhs that people are just going to stare at me like I'm an alien.

(5)Why can’t I just do my prayers,abstain from booze but keep my appearance like before (Clean shaven and short hair)

Will waheguru punish me If I did that.

If I'm trying to follow the guru's way,why isn't he helping me(I always ask for help in my ardass)instead I feel he is putting obstacles in my way so that eventually I will fail and he can punish me.

I feel like waheguru is playing with me,like watching a drama unfolding and laughing at all my follies,just waiting for my resilient to break and than he can punish me when I cut my hair.

Is it really necessary to keep long hair and beard.

Isn't it more important to do good,help your fellow humans,do sewa,live a truthful life and do your daily prayers

What has appearance got to do with it?

I wish someone out there could give me some answers and pointers as my mind is going crazy……

Thanks in advance

May Waheguru Bless all of you.

[Ekonkar]

Waheguru ji

Don't change your decision for any reason.Why are you afraid of this society and all other things. Nothing bad will happen.
They will learn all about your appearence soon.

You just keep your promise which you have given to Waheguru ji.

Don't think about reasons,you think that you have done a Promise with your Waheguru ji.

Keep that promise. Always remember noone will help you in trouble except Waheguru ji. He has always taken care of you since your birth
and also befor that.

So plzz don't break your promise you have done to Waheguru ji just becoz of society and other people.

You always be honest to Waheguru ji .



And he'll protect you from bad things.

[Ekonkar]

And also keep Listening,Reading Gurubani .

[admin]

You promised to be a gursikh, you must uphold your promise.

Let me tell you that although I am young, I confess that I too have had doubts when I was very young about our appearance. I personally thought that although nobody said it to me directly, they must be laughing at me inside or behind my back. But why does it matter? Being in the west has taught me that we should not be afraid of who we are. I have become strong from the inside as a result of my appearance. I no longer doubt myself or others. Because of my experience, the Guru has blessed me with humility, confidence and inner-strength. I know about 3 Sardars in the area I work and none else, but I am not afraid; I will happily sacrifice anything I have to to keep my appearance.

I have a friend who is of your age who once took the step of losing his hair, but he regretted it in a few days. He felt superficial and not true to himself, hence he started growing his hair again. He told me that he regretted the fact that there was nobody to guide him through. So as my last advice, please be patient and all this will make sense eventually.

[Ekonkar]

Respected Sir,

I am 4th yr Computer Science Engineering student.I also want to do sewa of Sadh Sangat.As Guru ji has given me education and all.Sir plzz tell me how Can I do this.

Thankyou in advance

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa
Waheguru ji ki Fateh

[Ekonkar]

At the time I was baptised I was told to give Daswand to Guru.
I want to give Daswand from my studies also.

[admin]

I have answered your Private Message. Thank you for coming forward.

[nanaki]

Sat Sri Akal Bhaji.Well I was moved on going thru your post.Actually I feel that being a good human with compassion for the fellow-beings is what our religion teaches us.But,also true are the tenets of our religion-namely the 5k's.So,in any case ,would it imply that if I cut my hair,I won't prove to be a good follower of sikh religion?I personally feel that the sacred place where your mind feels at rest and peace is your goal in life.May Waheguru show you the correct path.After all there was some inner voice which made you confess your past to your wife and also made you aware of the fact that Gurudwara was the place to go to.worry not friend,Waheguru is ultimate."If things are happening according to your wish,you are very lucky.But if they are not,then you are luckier-----because they are happening according to Waheguru's wish."Have a nice day.

[jazk]

Sat sri akal

listen Paji you should be proud of the fact that you had taken steps to sort yourself out and turn to Guruji for help
Don't worry about what people will think when they see you with a turban - just be proud to represent the sikh faith

Every day thousands of people die from hunger, war, earthquakes etc.... so our minor everyday problems are nothing compared to this

Don't loose heart - I,m sure your prayers will be answered - you are probably just being tested at the moment - so don't give up

[Ekonkar]

ਮਾਤ ਗਰਭ ਤੁਮ ਹੀ ਪ੍ਰਤਿਪਾਲਕ ਮ੍ਰਿਤ ਮੰਡਲ ਇਕ ਤੁਹੀ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥
मात गरभ तुम ही प्रतिपालक म्रित मंडल इक तुही ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥
In the mother's womb, You sustained me, and in this mortal world, You alone help me. ||1||Pause||

ਤੁਮਹਿ ਪਿਤਾ ਤੁਮ ਹੀ ਫੁਨਿ ਮਾਤਾ ਤੁਮਹਿ ਮੀਤ ਹਿਤ ਭ੍ਰਾਤਾ ॥
तुमहि पिता तुम ही फुनि माता तुमहि मीत हित भ्राता ॥
You are my Father, and You are my Mother; You are my Loving Friend and Sibling.

ਤੁਮ ਪਰਵਾਰ ਤੁਮਹਿ ਆਧਾਰਾ ਤੁਮਹਿ ਜੀਅ ਪ੍ਰਾਨਦਾਤਾ ॥੧॥
तुम परवार तुमहि आधारा तुमहि जीअ प्रानदाता ॥१॥
You are my Family, and You are my Support. You are the Giver of the Breath of Life. ||1||

ਤੁਮਹਿ ਖਜੀਨਾ ਤੁਮਹਿ ਜਰੀਨਾ ਤੁਮ ਹੀ ਮਾਣਿਕ ਲਾਲਾ ॥
तुमहि खजीना तुमहि जरीना तुम ही माणिक लाला ॥
You are my Treasure, and You are my Wealth. You are my Gems and Jewels.

ਤੁਮਹਿ ਪਾਰਜਾਤ ਗੁਰ ਤੇ ਪਾਏ ਤਉ ਨਾਨਕ ਭਏ ਨਿਹਾਲਾ ॥੨॥੩੩॥੫੬॥
तुमहि पारजात गुर ते पाए तउ नानक भए निहाला ॥२॥३३॥५६॥
You are the wish-fulfilling Elysian Tree. Nanak has found You through the Guru, and now he is enraptured. ||2||33||56||

[zubi]

Dear brother Jesse, from what i have read of your so called confusions, i can only suggest you to lead a clean moral life, because it is purity what makes us closer to Waheguru Akal Purukh, as He Himself is inmaculate. Woman another than one´s, is a sure gateway to hell; wine and drugs cloud our chit and makes a tool of us, in the devil´s hands, so you see, all these vices take us away from our True Heavenly Father, so he is not to be blamed. Please also bear in mind that , all pains, sorrows and joys are exclusively, one´s own karmas, so what your wife was going through, was her own karmas,and they went away after making us pay the due pain, so do not blame yourself for that; each being is born with his or own alloted destiny, or call it pralabdh karmas, which nobody can alterate, so for that do not feel gulty, yes , you have harmed yourself with your bad period. But He is Sad Bakshandhar, He is an infinite ocean of mercy, forgiveness and love, so repent truly and do not do those bad deeds again, otherwise asking for forgiveness is futile, do not try to be clever with Him, as He is Omniscient,be humble at his door, spread your jholi and ask for mercy, forgiveness, and to enlighten you with the true knowledge, so that you may be able to walk in the light with faith and determination. As for feeling strange that you are wearing the turban or having beard, that your clients may say something...It does not really matter whether one externally show the signs of a sikh, like beard, kangan, turban, etc...As spirituality does not exist in them, so whether you do that or not, does not really matter, as far as spirituality concerns....it concerns more with the society , country or the dharma where one is born, so that is up to one ...one may do or not do ...so please do not get cofussed with these things . As it is said ,Sahib ke darbar mein kewal bhakti aur pyar. To be able to stand in His eyes or presence, that is He is everywhere and every place, one only needs bhakti and pyar for Him.Nothing more nothing less. Do not demand any orders from Waheguru, do only ardas as a beggar at His door, bear in mind that as pralabdh karmas play very important role, they mould our lives, so be careful and take care of your kriyaman or present karmas. According to the great souls, a real sikh is a person who has bravely fought with his mind(sikhs main qualities are bravery and purity)( which are very important to travel in the spiritual realms)and reached the third eye, from where the spiritual journey begins, that is inwards and upwards. This is what i can tell you for the moment, i will pray to the almighty, to bless you with clear understanding.
Nothing is free in this creation , if you want Him to help you, then , you have to observe the rules of the nature, you have to get worthy of it, with best regaeds, a brother.zubi
Guru Da Pyara

Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 10:39 pm
Private message

[daman1655]

Dear Veerji,

I wud only say one thing ... If Almighty gave us hair, he must have a reason behind it! Otherwise he wouldn't have given them. This body is a beautiful gift from the Almighty to the soul. We must appreciate and take care of the gifts our Lord has given to us and try not to make changes to it according to our wish. We have to give it back one day....

Long hair, by the way are a must in all religions (according to Texts) but people have stopped follwing the texts...

Please see this video and it will remove many doubts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnJVWCJd ... 1&index=21

I'm in US these days for a short business trip. It's my first trip abroad and I am not used to see people looking at me with an amused look. But you know what! I really enjoy when someone looks at me like that... I feel like a representative of my religion!

I think you should feel proud wearing a turban and not shy or inferior. I would say that you have got an oppurtunity to let people know why you are wearing the turban, why this change.. Tell them that the life you were living earlier was false, tell them that you are now in love with the Lord who gave you birth and sent u to this earth. Tell them that this turban and beard are a sign of your commitment to Him. He made you like this (saroop) and you want to accept His Will.

Lastly, I would say that there are always 2 choices that each one of us has.... Do things as people want you to do, or do them as your Master wants! It's up to us who we want to impress!

Waheguru Ji Bhali karan...

Suggested videos on youtube: All by Guruka Singh