HEALTHY JOKES ....

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Re: HEALTHY JOKES ....

Postby carlos » Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:49 pm

BANTA in school ....

Madam, maine
“ABC ” yaad karli...

Madam :
Ok , toh sunao..

Banta :
abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz…..

Madam :
Arey aise nahin ….
Aise sunao
A for Apple..
?????????
Banta :
Ok ma'am….

A for Apple.?

B for Bada Apple.?

C for Chhota Apple.?

D for Dusra Apple.?

E for Ek aur Apple.?

F for Fokat ka Apple.?

G for Gol Gol Apple.?

H for Hazaar Apple.?

I for Itney saare Apple??

J for Jaao nahin khaane hai Apple.?

K for Kaise nahin khaayengey Apple.??

L for Lena padhega tumko Apple.?

M for Mujhe nahin chahiye itne Apple.?

N for Naa nahin kehtey kyunki yeh hai Apple.?

O for Oye teri ki, tumne khaa daale yeh saare Apple.?

P for Pett bhar khaao Apple.?

Q for Qismat mein nahin hoti hai sabke, yeh Apple.?

R for Roz khaao tum Apple.?

S for Sehetmand rahoge khaaogey agar tum Apple.?

T for Tumko nahin milenge itney achey Apple.?

U for Udhaar kii nahin hai yeh Apple.?

V for Very tasty hain yeh Apple.?

W for Waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se Apple.?

X for X’mas mein bhi khana padenge Apple.?

Y for Yun naa chehra phero dekh ke yeh Apple.?

Z for Zara sa aur khaalo Apple.....?

Madam Behosh.....
????????????
carlos
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Posts: 288
Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 2:12 pm
Location: Satgura de Charna Kamala ....

Re: HEALTHY JOKES .... hahahahahaha...

Postby carlos » Sat Jan 25, 2014 2:55 pm

Ek admi ne apne Padosi ko sms kiya...
.

Dear Sir ,


Aapko jara sa bhi andaza nhi hai lekin aapko ye jaan kar hairaani jaroor hogi aur gussa bhi aayega ... ki aapki knowledge mei aane diye bagair , I've been using ur WIFE ..


I used it double than u ordinarily use it......


I used it day and night ....!


I really felt that my requirement for it was more than yours but it is not morally Okkey for me....


And I must confess when I was wrong morally as well as legally....


But I am sure that you will excuse me for my such naughty act...


As otherwise also u were equally keeping it unused...

Logically there's nothing wrong if I grabbed the opportunity but it is against social values and moral values...

All expenses on your pocket and I am enjoying it for free..

If you agree , (only if u agree ) from now onwards I am ready to bear 50% expenses or money spent on ur WIFE.

or with no other option I will get my own..

I could have continued like this for ever without letting u know anything but hope u'll appreciate my honesty and won't take any action against me..

I m also feeling very guilty .!!!
.
.
.
.

Neighbour just shot his wife and he was going to house of person sending sms ....


He received another sms....
.
.
.
.
.
Sorry AUTO CORRECT app. On my phone made it WIFE...

Actually it was about ur Wi Fi connection .
Regards. ..
........!!!
carlos
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Posts: 288
Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 2:12 pm
Location: Satgura de Charna Kamala ....

Re: HEALTHY JOKES ....

Postby carlos » Mon Jul 10, 2017 10:25 pm

Difference between talent and god’s gift:

A man can give lecture for 2 hrs on any subject.
-This is talent.
A wife can give lecture for 2 hrs without any subject.
-This is god’s gift
carlos
Guru Da Pyara
 
Posts: 288
Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 2:12 pm
Location: Satgura de Charna Kamala ....

Re: HEALTHY JOKES ....

Postby carlos » Mon Jul 10, 2017 10:32 pm

One day a Professor was talking about marriage in the class...

Professor : What kind of Wife would you like Johnny?
Johnny : I would want a wife like the moon...

Professor : Wow !! what a choice....So you want her to be Cool & Calm like the moon?
Johnny : No, no...

Professor : oh so u want her to be Round and white?
Johny: No, no...

Professor : Oh, so u want her to be Fair and Beautiful like d moon?
Johny: No, no...

I want her to be Exactly like MOON ....... Just Arrive at Night and Disappear in the Morning
.
.
.
Professor fainted
carlos
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Posts: 288
Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 2:12 pm
Location: Satgura de Charna Kamala ....

Re: HEALTHY JOKES ....

Postby carlos » Mon Jul 10, 2017 10:32 pm

JOKE OF THE DAY

My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise.

"Why?"...

"Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple!!"
carlos
Guru Da Pyara
 
Posts: 288
Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 2:12 pm
Location: Satgura de Charna Kamala ....

Re: HEALTHY JOKES ....

Postby carlos » Tue Jan 30, 2018 11:27 pm

A farmer’s wife was terribly jealous.

Evening after evening she subjected her husband to a searching inspection.

When she would find even a single hair on his coat there would be a terrible scene.

One night she found nothing, so she screamed now it’s a bald-headed woman.



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


The father of five children



The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle.

He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present.

Who is the most obedient? he asked

Who never talks back to mother?

Who does everything she says?

Five small voices answered in unison

Okay dad you get the toy .



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery

The operation went well and as the groggy man regained consciousness.

He was reassured by a Sister of Mercy who was waiting by his bed.

Mr Smith you re going to be just fine said the nun gently patting his hand.

We do need to know however how you intend to pay for your stay here.

Are you covered by insurance?

No I m not the man whispered hoarsely.

Can you pay in cash? persisted the nun.

I m afraid I cannot Sister.

Well do you have any close relatives? the nun asked.

Just my sister in Mexico he volunteered.

But she is a humble spinster nun.

Oh I must correct you Mr Smith, Nuns are not spinsters.

They are married to God.

Wonderful said Mr Smith,

In that case

please send the bill to my brother-in-law .
carlos
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Posts: 288
Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 2:12 pm
Location: Satgura de Charna Kamala ....

Re: HEALTHY JOKES ....

Postby carlos » Mon Jun 18, 2018 8:40 pm

In New York, two beggars were sitting side by side, one with "OM" sign and the other with "CROSS" sign.

People passing that area were giving dirty looks to the beggar carrying the OM sign but giving a dollar to the one carrying the CROSS sign.

This was going on, when a father of a church was passing by and noticed this. He came to beggar who was carrying the OM sign and told him that you are in a country, where people follow Christianity.

You being a Hindu, will hardly get any alms.

Just to make you feel jealous and frustrated, people are giving dollars to your counterpart.

After the Father left, the beggar carrying the OM sign said the following in Gujarati to his counterpart:-

"Jignesh Bhai"?

"Yes Mansukh Bhai"

Now, this Father is trying to teach us how to do business.
carlos
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Posts: 288
Joined: Sat May 08, 2010 2:12 pm
Location: Satgura de Charna Kamala ....

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